Ask Noel - He Knows Fucking Everything

    A long time ago, in a Galaxy, far, far away, there lived a man. He was small, green and backwards, he spoke. He fought evil, he protected everything that was right and good and all in great puppetry and bad CGI. Many, many thousands of years have passed since that day and that man has learned to cheat death - he's still around, along with a few friends. That man, that myth, that legend is our agony uncle. We call him Noel and whether or not that was always his name remains to be seen. Since he arrived at Snipe he's been known to party with Robert Mugabe, to pick up girls in seedy Berkshire night clubs and even, once, organise a fight between Barney the Dinosaur and Ethan from Ctrl Alt Del. He's got your questions right here. Noel.

Last week he replied to your questions from Brazil, where he'd fled to escape from a crazy skank claiming he was her babydaddy. Find out where he's hiding this week [here]