The Apple Devils are losing the war to force feed you shit products. Hurrah!
Gadafi. Mugabe. Hitler. Stalin. Noel. Steve Jobs. What do all of these men have in common? A lack of morals? Well yes, but also a penchant for evil dictatorships and kicking orphans right between the eyes. Jobs and his Apple steam roller have been in charge of seemingly everything for a long time (how long before we get an iPresident of the renamed United States of Macbook?) but finally, a hero has stepped up to flip Apple the finger and lead us into a bright new future.
I don't own a single Apple product. And why? Not because they're necessarily bad - I'm sure iPhones and iPads are both fun and effective day to day, but because Apple are the new Coke (not the fun kind), the big business, shitting all over the little guy and forcing us to swallow wave after wave of their products. Crazily overpriced laptops which can't run anything, multimedia players that only work with iTunes and can only be used on one computer (because drag and drop is too simple) and tablets without USB ports. The sole appeal of Macs is the fact that if using them in public, the general consensus is that you must be either balls deep in money or riding a wave of epic coolness to the promised land of writing for TV or animating season who gives a fuck of the Simpsons. But give me something a Mac can do that a £400 Microsoft product can't (if you give me ten minutes with it and a lack of morals) and I'll buy an iPad, shove it up my arse and rename my birthday 'Apple Day.'
So where is the future? With a litle green robot. Android, the OS for the truly hip young dude around town. Awesome compatibility, beautiful layout, efficient service and enviable ap store. And the icing on the cake - Android capable phones are outselling the iBrick. At last, a great weight has been lifted from the force. But what's not to like?
Well there's no shiny apple logo on it, so you won't look quite as down with the kids as the prick sat next to you on the train. But what will you have that he won't? Decency! Purpose! Freeeeedommmm! And testicles. Don't forget about those.
I don't own a single Apple product. And why? Not because they're necessarily bad - I'm sure iPhones and iPads are both fun and effective day to day, but because Apple are the new Coke (not the fun kind), the big business, shitting all over the little guy and forcing us to swallow wave after wave of their products. Crazily overpriced laptops which can't run anything, multimedia players that only work with iTunes and can only be used on one computer (because drag and drop is too simple) and tablets without USB ports. The sole appeal of Macs is the fact that if using them in public, the general consensus is that you must be either balls deep in money or riding a wave of epic coolness to the promised land of writing for TV or animating season who gives a fuck of the Simpsons. But give me something a Mac can do that a £400 Microsoft product can't (if you give me ten minutes with it and a lack of morals) and I'll buy an iPad, shove it up my arse and rename my birthday 'Apple Day.'
So where is the future? With a litle green robot. Android, the OS for the truly hip young dude around town. Awesome compatibility, beautiful layout, efficient service and enviable ap store. And the icing on the cake - Android capable phones are outselling the iBrick. At last, a great weight has been lifted from the force. But what's not to like?
Well there's no shiny apple logo on it, so you won't look quite as down with the kids as the prick sat next to you on the train. But what will you have that he won't? Decency! Purpose! Freeeeedommmm! And testicles. Don't forget about those.
